get it

INT. NEIMAN MARCUS FINE MERCHANDISE DEPARTMENT – DAY

MARK and SEAN, late 20's, are standing underneath a large dangling clock about to strike 2 o'clock, in front of a long sparkling vitrine filled with jewelry.

MARK

you just don't get it

 

SEAN

what is there to get it ? it's really stupid to give her that corny necklace

 

MARK

whatever, it's not corny

 

SEAN

dude, that's corny

 

MARK

if you say so

 

SEAN

c'mon, it's a corny necklace

 

MARK

why would you say that?

 

SEAN

because it's a corny necklace

 

MARK

but you don't know that

 

SEAN

that's what i think, i think it's a corny necklace

 

MARK

alright, but that's just your subjective opinion

 

SEAN

yeah, of course it's subjective

 

MARK

okay, so stop it, stop telling me it's stupid to get her the necklace

 

SEAN

but it's stupid

 

MARK

that's what you think

 

SEAN

you don't think so

 

MARK

no!

 

SEAN

but how ?

 

MARK

i think she's gonna like it

 

SEAN stares back silently in simultaneous disbelief and dismay at the magnitude of such a faux-pas display of erroneous judgement in taste.

 

MARK

what ? it's nice! you just don't get it

 

SEAN

what is there to get?

 

MARK

'it'! you don't get 'it'!

 

SEAN

oh, okay, so i don't get 'it', but you do, surely, you get 'it'

 

MARK

of course i get it! it's you who doesn't get 'it'! and that's fine if you don't get it

 

SEAN

but what don't i get?

 

MARK

that i've thought about the gift and i know she's going to like it

 

SEAN

but why?

 

MARK

i don't know, i don't know 'why', i just know, i know she'll like it

 

SEAN

you don't know why

 

MARK

right

 

SEAN

so i'm right, it's stupid

 

MARK

no, you're wrong!

 

SEAN

but you don't even know why you're giving her this ugly necklace

 

MARK

oh, so now it's corny and ugly

 

SEAN makes a 'yeah, duh!' face.

 

MARK

look man, i don't have to explain to you why it works

 

SEAN

why what works?

 

MARK

the necklace!

 

SEAN

why don't you want to tell me?

 

MARK

it's not that i don't want to tell you, it's just that.. okay, i don't wanna tell you cause it's complicated

 

SEAN

why is it complicated? is there something that i'm missing ? something i don't know ?

 

MARK

yeah! of course! there's tons you don't know

 

Instantly a sad expression turns on SEAN's face.

 

MARK

it's not like i don't want to tell you

 

SEAN

but you just said you didn't want to tell me

 

MARK

but it's not because i'm hiding something from you, it's just too much trouble to think up a long-winded explanation for why i think it's a good present

 

SEAN

it sure doesn't sound that way, why do you wanna hide stuff from me? it's not like i would care you know… i'm just curious, making friendly conversation

 

MARK

so why do you have to insist so much? i like the necklace. period. there's no huge explanation behind it. let's just call it a hunch okay? it's got nothing to do with your jewelry taste.

 

SEAN

alright! alright! you don't have to go all soap opera on me!

 

MARK

(to a passing SHOPGIRL in her mid-twenties)

hi!

 

SHOPGIRL

hi! how are you today?

 

MARK

good, and yourself ?

 

SEAN

(flirting overzealously with SHOPGIRL)

great actually

 

SHOPGIRL

(flirtingly back assertively at SEAN)

well good for you! what can i do for you boys?

 

MARK

i want to see this necklace… right… here

(pointing into the vitrine)

 

SHOPGIRL

(pulls the necklace out onto the glass)

that's one of my favorites, the design on the zaphire is based on a tiffany lampshade

 

SEAN

a lampshade? like the electrical appliance?

 

SHOPGIRL's frozen smile darts towards SEAN and bounces back to MARK seeking sympathetic refuge.

 

MARK

I'll take it

 

SHOPGIRL

(a broad smile and a playful wink)

great choice

 

MARK slides his American Express across the glass pane, SHOPGIRL rings the necklace up and hands them the case in a small translucent Neiman Marcus bag.

 

SHOPGIRL

thank you for shopping with us

 

MARK

thank you

 

SEAN

(winking at her and making a snappy crackling sound with his mouth)

thank you

MARK and SEAN walk towards the store exit.

 

MARK

(sighing)

you just, don't, get it…

End Scene.